It's a coffee coloured world

October 3, 2008

Deep thoughts on a cold evening

Filed under: Uncategorized — coffeegirl88 @ 10:15 pm
Tags: ,

Yeah, it’s dangerous when my melancholy mood intertwines with my reflective/introspective moods.  But since that’s where I find myself tonight I thought I’d toss a question to the masses.  Hey, don’t laugh, I have 4 blogs I could easily have a readership of double digits.

So, here goes, the deep thought in my head tonight.  This is your only warning.

Is it complete silliness to look back at a relationship that never was and wonder “what if?”  To look at him today and think “maybe?” 

I have learned one thing in my life to date and that is the thing that scares me the most is the thing I should chase the hardest.  And this thought terrifies me.  There are moments, snatches of days, where I can feel that going down this path might be the right one.  It wouldn’t be that hard to try.  Not really.  I can feel my toes hanging off the edge of the bridge, just waiting to jump.

So that’s the thought dancing around my brain tonight.  Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Tell me I’m crazy, you wouldn’t be the first.

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6 Comments »

  1. No, not strange at all to think “what if”. I get philosophical the day before my birthday. My head usually hurts by the time I’ve thought about all things I wished I would have changed and then realizing I wouldn’t be the person I am without those “lessons”.

    Now if you really just want to go off the deep end: What’s the pattern with the men who never happened?

    Just call me Dr. Blue. Thankyouverymuch.

    Comment by Melissa Blue — October 4, 2008 @ 12:24 am

  2. Well Dr. Blue, there isn’t much of a pattern with the men that never happened as there aren’t a lot of men than didn’t happen. If I like a guy I pursue him. If we don’t end up together it’s usually because he’s involved or gay or not as interested in me or not as interesting to me once I get to know him.

    There’s just this one, this beautiful, smart, artistic one that I wonder about more and more.

    Comment by coffeegirl88 — October 4, 2008 @ 12:41 am

  3. There’s just this one, this beautiful, smart, artistic one that I wonder about more and more.

    I think almost everyone has just this one. I have one, but I’m learning to let him and the ideal go.

    Now, how does that make you feel? 😉

    Comment by Melissa Blue — October 6, 2008 @ 10:36 pm

  4. I let go of one, too many times with the missed opportunity taught me that it was better to just let go. But this one? Nope, the idea of walking away without an answer, without trying, makes me heart sick.

    Comment by coffeegirl88 — October 6, 2008 @ 11:54 pm

  5. What’s the absolute worst that could happen?

    Comment by pamwritesromance — October 9, 2008 @ 12:21 pm

  6. He laughs. No, the worst would be him not remembering me. But I can live with both, sure I’ll be wounded briefly, but I’ll survive.

    Comment by coffeegirl88 — October 9, 2008 @ 12:24 pm


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